Friday, December 30, 2011

Lessons for Brittany

My young girl,

You have asked many questions of your auntie…I hope this helps…I love you

Never Give Away Your Family- any person who asks you to choose between them and your family are scum…even if your family was the worst, if a person really loves and respects you they will never ask this or expect this of you….when you are angry with your family hang up/walk away- never say I hate you or threaten the parents (some words can never be taken back and even when forgiven are not forgotten)…my parents and I started doing battle when I was young, I ran away at 13…through the years, it was a point I made (even then) to call once a week- let them know I was alive and safe…at least once every 3 months I would bring my sorry ass to one of them- for them to hug or yell at and for them to see me…these are my responsibility…you see when I die, I do not answer for anyone but me…if they, you or anyone else does not hold up their end, it is they who will have to answer for it…from what I have read in every religion, it is the same…responsibility is a big heavy word and action…it also has much meaning…I have rules for my kids…some strict- do your homework and chores, be polite, use manners- even when others did not…some funky- if you put a cup down at any party get a fresh drink poured in front of you or better yet drink water from a bottle you brought (help prevent people from dropping stuff in to the cup)- do not bring home an animal or a child unless you are ready to help with the responsibility of it…

Yes, after raising 38 children, I do in fact know most of this by heart…usually followed by the remark- “You think you know everything”…I do not know everything but, after 38 children…I have done so many things so incorrectly, that people took time to break it down so often, I now have it memorized;)

Next up bills…get one of those generic desktop calendars…write down when every bill is due…if it atomically comes out of your account highlight it in yellow and mark which account it is coming from…any incoming money should be highlighted in green and contain the amount and where it came from…all paid items should be highlighted in pink…a file should be kept for each month- receipts, notes, important information- at the end of each month, rip off that month from the calendar, put it in the file and close the file until tax time…if you pay at least $5 a month most will understand, some will be nasty (ignore them as negative energy brings negative happenings)…if you owe someone…do not hide, be honest and do your best…this does not always work in your favor, pull up the big panties and adult up…not easy, can be embarrassing, earns respect

No your right, I am not here to blow sunshine…I am here because these lessons will save you time, heart ache, money and energy…the lessons I wish someone had told me

Sex is a big responsibility too…nothing is 100% that you will not get pregnant…we did not have as much birth control, but we also did not have so many autistic children…just saying…everything you put into your body effects your child even if it is not in utero yet…I tell all girls get a profession before you think on having a child…this way if the guy walks out, you are not condemning yourself and child to a hard life of poverty or to be a burden to your family or his…this does not even discuss STDs…some do not kill…they stay with you for life….Other than a doctor’s note…I would have to inspect any private parts headed my way…a short time of happiness for a life of woe…hmmm

Are you still happy you asked me not to sugarcoat the facts…

Follow your dreams and explore your hobbies as long as it does not affect your life…I once knew a woman who loved to golf so much, she started to ignore her real life- husband, kids, job, bills…she thought she was going to be on the PGA thing and thought she was so good because people blew smoke up her skirt (this way they could sell her lessons and gear)…several of her friends tried to tell her, but she would not listen…now she has nothing- family, kids, job and most of her real and all of her fake friends are gone…if you ever have a question about something like this- Ask your mother/father/best friend…if you are really good, she/he will tell you and if you are not she/he will say that too…you may not like hearing it, but then you can enjoy it as a hobby instead of the next profession

Alright one last point of interest and I will ring the school bell…lol

Kids…not one of mine was planned…and most that I have ever known were not…in 46 years I have only known 3 to be planned…when a child comes, your life stops for 18 years…all time, money and effort go into this child…as a parent this is your responsibility… you will go without food, sleep, clothes and wear the latest sneakers from the clearance bin… at times, the other parent will walk out and enjoy life while you work 2-3 jobs…this goes back to the start of this conservation…there is NO absolution for those who harm/neglect children and or their responsibility to that child (child support/visitation)…just as there is NO absolution for children who do harm to or neglect their parents…you answer for what you do…

Welcome to being an adult my child…I am here anytime you need me…you see it is my responsibility as your aunt to try to help when I can…I love you

Blessed Be,

Auntie D  

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